We did the same thing, Elizabeth—we left out milk and cookies for Santa (still do, actually) but we’ve always said that it is just pretend. I feel like it gave us the best of both worlds. No regrets!
My third-grade teacher told our entire class that Santa wasn’t real (the teacher, not a little kid!) and made those of us who were believers raise our hands and be shamed for it. I and one other little girl raised our hands—we were the sole believers in our class. It was an independent Baptist school and I have never been fully sure what her intent was in delivering this news (I’ve written many iterations of short stories about it over the years), but I decided—once I confirmed with my parents that she was right (I went all day defiantly believing until I got home)—that I would never, ever do to my children what had been done to me!
Yes, it was definitely different than explaining that the historical figure of Saint Nicholas is dead. It traumatized me as an eight-year-old! I kept one eye on my parents after that!
I had a similar thing happen to me in fourth grade! We had a substitute teacher who made a passing statement about Santa not being real and then said something like, “But you all know that already, don’t you?” Who among us would have admitted our ignorance at that point? My ignorance included.
That teacher was definitely a nightmare. Another day, she rattled off two separate lists of "good" students and "bad" students. It was all off the top of her head. (I made the good list, but barely...I think I was the last kid she listed.) As she ticked off the bad kids, she openly mocked a kid with severe asthma for using his inhaler in class. As in: she mocked his labored breathing and frantic backpack search for his inhaler. Even as a young child, I knew something was terribly wrong with all of it. My parents pulled me out and started homeschooling me the next year!
Oh hahahaha I am laughing along with you! Our oldest similarly spilled the beans and made other parents upset! We struggle as well — and in our house the big gifts come from parents/grandparents but Santa helps fill the stockings!
But I do love the idea of celebrating St Nicholas Day with a food drive! We just do the candy in the shoes and read Ned’s book together. Planning now for next year!
After my Mom passed I have tried to carry on her generous traditions, one of them being baking small loaves of pumpkin bread during advent and delivering it to neighbors!
(Your side note about the etymology of Charles was fascinating though. It sent me on a research side-quest for fifteen minutes! Who knew that the great king Charlemange was named after a churl: a freeman?)
Anyway regarding Mr. Nikolaus (etymologically: "victory of the people" - Nike) my family did a similar thing. We got told the truth, but then we'd wink and nod about Santa leaving presents just for fun. But there was no pretense that he was actually real. Best of both worlds.
I think there's something beautiful in the mythos of Santa, and also something kind of awful about knowingly tricking kids. It's complex.
Don’t you love how our kids make us proud…and also create sticky challenges for us to navigate?
As for Santa, I don’t think my parents ever specifically said he wasn’t real (we didn’t really get into St. Nicholas), but I knew Jesus *was* real. He was central to Christmas, and Santa was a fun addition. I have a vivid memory of coming home from a friend’s when I was four or five and saw a stack of presents by the door. When I asked my mom where they’d come from, she said casually, “Santa dropped them off.” I remember picturing Santa in his sled, making a delivery, and I know I was aware I was imagining it—but in the delightful “Perhaps!” way.
This was a beautiful reminder, both through Saint Nicholas and your dear friend, that the consequences (positive or negative) of our actions can live far beyond our expectations. It's encouraging and terrifying all at the same time!
As I mentioned in my blog this week, quoting my mom, if you don’t believe in Santa, don’t expect any gifts from him. We gladly played along. We knew anyway where our presents came from —the back of our station wagon! www.nightlytea.blogspot.com
We did the same thing, Elizabeth—we left out milk and cookies for Santa (still do, actually) but we’ve always said that it is just pretend. I feel like it gave us the best of both worlds. No regrets!
My third-grade teacher told our entire class that Santa wasn’t real (the teacher, not a little kid!) and made those of us who were believers raise our hands and be shamed for it. I and one other little girl raised our hands—we were the sole believers in our class. It was an independent Baptist school and I have never been fully sure what her intent was in delivering this news (I’ve written many iterations of short stories about it over the years), but I decided—once I confirmed with my parents that she was right (I went all day defiantly believing until I got home)—that I would never, ever do to my children what had been done to me!
That teacher sounds unkind. Why burst some little kid’s bubble?!
I think there’s a difference too in saying “Santa is real, but he’s dead, and his generosity lives on” than just “Santa isn’t real”
Yes, it was definitely different than explaining that the historical figure of Saint Nicholas is dead. It traumatized me as an eight-year-old! I kept one eye on my parents after that!
I had a similar thing happen to me in fourth grade! We had a substitute teacher who made a passing statement about Santa not being real and then said something like, “But you all know that already, don’t you?” Who among us would have admitted our ignorance at that point? My ignorance included.
Perhaps our experiences led us to different Santa decisions with our own children?
I feel your pain. And yet, I feel like it was your teacher -- and not your parents -- who deserved your watchful suspicion.
That teacher was definitely a nightmare. Another day, she rattled off two separate lists of "good" students and "bad" students. It was all off the top of her head. (I made the good list, but barely...I think I was the last kid she listed.) As she ticked off the bad kids, she openly mocked a kid with severe asthma for using his inhaler in class. As in: she mocked his labored breathing and frantic backpack search for his inhaler. Even as a young child, I knew something was terribly wrong with all of it. My parents pulled me out and started homeschooling me the next year!
That is horrifying. Have you ever published any of the stories you wrote from your experiences?
I haven't, but maybe I should look into that. Thanks Frank!
She sounds like Mrs. Trunchbull in Matilda! Horrible!
Oh hahahaha I am laughing along with you! Our oldest similarly spilled the beans and made other parents upset! We struggle as well — and in our house the big gifts come from parents/grandparents but Santa helps fill the stockings!
But I do love the idea of celebrating St Nicholas Day with a food drive! We just do the candy in the shoes and read Ned’s book together. Planning now for next year!
After my Mom passed I have tried to carry on her generous traditions, one of them being baking small loaves of pumpkin bread during advent and delivering it to neighbors!
Glad to hear it, Allison!! I love Christmas baking. I don’t get to it every year (making baked goods for neighbors) but it is so fun when I’m able!
This is BEAUTIFUL. Leslie, indeed, does live on.
I love this story, Elizabeth!
(Your side note about the etymology of Charles was fascinating though. It sent me on a research side-quest for fifteen minutes! Who knew that the great king Charlemange was named after a churl: a freeman?)
Anyway regarding Mr. Nikolaus (etymologically: "victory of the people" - Nike) my family did a similar thing. We got told the truth, but then we'd wink and nod about Santa leaving presents just for fun. But there was no pretense that he was actually real. Best of both worlds.
I think there's something beautiful in the mythos of Santa, and also something kind of awful about knowingly tricking kids. It's complex.
I can't get over the preschool teacher. What did she expect you to do?
She was generally a really sweet person, so her frustration surprised me too. I guess she expected Charlie to stop giving notices of death in class.
Next stop: the Easter Bunny.
Don’t forget spoiling St. Patrick’s Day by explaining there are no leprechauns and Patrick wasn’t Irish but British 😏
This could be a children's series. "How Charlie spoiled ALL the holidays."
Don’t you love how our kids make us proud…and also create sticky challenges for us to navigate?
As for Santa, I don’t think my parents ever specifically said he wasn’t real (we didn’t really get into St. Nicholas), but I knew Jesus *was* real. He was central to Christmas, and Santa was a fun addition. I have a vivid memory of coming home from a friend’s when I was four or five and saw a stack of presents by the door. When I asked my mom where they’d come from, she said casually, “Santa dropped them off.” I remember picturing Santa in his sled, making a delivery, and I know I was aware I was imagining it—but in the delightful “Perhaps!” way.
I love the “Perhaps”!
This was a beautiful reminder, both through Saint Nicholas and your dear friend, that the consequences (positive or negative) of our actions can live far beyond our expectations. It's encouraging and terrifying all at the same time!
I love this - looking forward to starting a similar tradition with our kids!
As I mentioned in my blog this week, quoting my mom, if you don’t believe in Santa, don’t expect any gifts from him. We gladly played along. We knew anyway where our presents came from —the back of our station wagon! www.nightlytea.blogspot.com
Who else but Santa would think to get you roller-skis?
This is awesome.
I’m glad you liked it, Erik!
This is beautiful! You have blessed me, Elizabeth. New follower here! Keep going!
Thank you so much, Melody! I’m glad you’re here!